He Warmed Himself With Half the Log and Bowed Down to the Other Half

He knows. That is what makes this one different from every other article about this.

He is not confused. He could tell you, tonight, in one clear sentence, exactly what the thing is and exactly what it is doing to him, and the sentence would be accurate and he would not need any help constructing it.

What he cannot do is say it out loud, and he cannot stop.

And the gap between those two facts is where he actually lives, and it is a strange and humiliating place to live, because the standard help offered to a man in this position is information, and he has all of it. He knows more about this than the people trying to help him do.

There is a passage in Isaiah that follows one piece of wood all the way through, and the striking thing about it is that the man in it is never once mocked.

The log, followed the whole way

Here it is, in the King James Version, and the detail is deliberate:

He burneth part thereof in the fire; with part thereof he eateth flesh; he roasteth roast, and is satisfied: yea, he warmeth himself, and saith, Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire: And the residue thereof he maketh a god, even his graven image: he falleth down unto it, and worshippeth it, and prayeth unto it, and saith, Deliver me; for thou art my god. (Isaiah 44:16-17)

He burneth part thereof in the fire.

Half the log goes into the fire and does what a log does. He cooks with it. He gets warm. He says Aha, I am warm, which is an ordinary satisfied noise a man makes.

And the residue thereof he maketh a god.

Same log. Same tree. He knows where it came from because the passage has already told us he planted it and the rain grew it.

And saith, Deliver me; for thou art my god.

That is the sentence at the end and it is not written for laughs. He is asking for help. He is in trouble and he is asking the piece of wood he cut himself, and he means it.

You are not being laughed at here and you were never a fool for turning to it. Isaiah 44:17 records the request deliver me without one word of mockery attached, and it is the Holy Spirit rather than more information who reaches a man who already knows.

The sentence about what he cannot say

And then the verse that names the exact condition of a man who knows and cannot say it.

And none considereth in his heart, neither is there knowledge nor understanding to say, I have burned part of it in the fire; yea, also I have baked bread upon the coals thereof; I have roasted flesh, and eaten it: and shall I make the residue thereof an abomination? shall I fall down to the stock of a tree? (Isaiah 44:19)

Neither is there knowledge nor understanding to say.

Read the last two words. It is not that he does not know. It is that there is no capacity to say it, and the passage then puts the exact sentence in his mouth that he cannot get out.

That is precise and it is merciful. Isaiah does not say the man is stupid. He says the knowing is there and the saying is not, and then he writes the sentence out in full so the reader can see what it would sound like.

Which is the whole action of this article. Not to inform anybody. To put a sentence somewhere a man can pick it up.

You have the knowing already and you were never short of understanding. Isaiah 44:19 says there is no understanding to say it and then writes the sentence out, and it is His Spirit who gets a true sentence from where it already is into a man's mouth.

Why he cannot put it down

And the verse that explains the holding on, which is the tenderest thing in the passage.

He feedeth on ashes: a deceived heart hath turned him aside, that he cannot deliver his soul, nor say, Is there not a lie in my right hand? (Isaiah 44:20)

He feedeth on ashes.

That is what it is like. Not pleasure. Ash. A man doing this does not describe it as enjoyment by year four; he describes it as something he does.

A deceived heart hath turned him aside. Passive. Something was done to him. The deception is not something he chose after weighing it.

That he cannot deliver his soul. He cannot get himself out. Stated plainly, in the text, as a fact about his condition rather than a failure of his effort.

And Jeremiah says why any of us is in this position:

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

Who can know it? That is a question with an answer, and the answer is in the next verse, and it is God.

You cannot deliver yourself and you were never expected to. Isaiah 44:20 says plainly that he cannot deliver his soul, and it is the Holy Spirit rather than a stronger effort who does what that verse says a man cannot do for himself.

And if this has taken you somewhere heavier than shame, if it has reached not wanting to be here at all, that is not a thing to sit alone with. A doctor, a counselor, somebody you trust who will pick up the phone. In the United States the 988 crisis line answers day and night. Nobody is asked to carry that by himself.

What He says two verses later

And now the reason this passage is in this category rather than in a harder one. Read what comes next, because it comes next in the same chapter, to the same man.

Remember these, O Jacob and Israel; for thou art my servant: I have formed thee; thou art my servant: O Israel, thou shalt not be forgotten of me. (Isaiah 44:21)

Thou shalt not be forgotten of me.

That is verse 21, one verse after he feedeth on ashes.

I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee. (Isaiah 44:22)

I have blotted out. Past tense, done, before the returning.

Return unto me; for I have redeemed thee. The word for comes in the middle of that sentence and it makes the redemption the reason for the return rather than its result.

So the man who has been feeding on ashes and cannot deliver his soul is addressed two verses later by somebody who says the blotting out is finished and who gives that as the reason to come back.

You are not forgotten and you have been redeemed already. Isaiah 44:22 says I have blotted out in the past tense and gives the redemption as the reason for the return, and it is His Spirit rather than a clean stretch who makes that sentence something a man can act on tonight.